Revelation

imageMy life as a yoga practitioner and a yoga teacher in Malta was just a preparation for a real yoga which started when I moved from Malta to Taipei. It was a difficult move not only on the material plane. It was very challenging mental transition. From well-recognized yoga teacher to no-one-knows yoga instructor. From open hearts and hugs of many dear friends to loneliness. From easy and comfortable life to start-it-all-over-again. For a few years in Taipei my ego has crashed many times. Thanks to yoga and even more so to vipassana mediation I could recover with many new insights about myself as I really am – something behind all the beautiful images about myself which were created thanks to my loving students and friends back in Malta. Before, every time I mastered a new yoga pose or received another positive feedback from my student, my ego would get reinforced. Once I lost these ego-feeding sources, I had to re-evaluate my self-worth and self-image, finding new independent ways of feeling good about myself.
imageAnd then motherhood happened bringing new and even more challenging spiritual tasks, accomplishment of which required all these years of preparation in Malta (and before). The parenthood is the highest form of yoga, in my understanding. Parenting is more challenging than any other relationship since the responsibility for the outcome lies entirely on a parent. My son has been my most serious, deep, amazing, fun-filled yoga project from the time of pre-conception when his mantra came to me till today when we are struggling to nap on time not to get over-stimulated.
I am so very grateful for all these experiences, and especially for the “difficult times” which has given me so much stimuli to grow spiritually. I feel like I want to say: Keep it coming, Universe! But I have some fears inside, and also a desire to live a comfortable life with not too many challenges is quite strong in me. Well, this post is about my past, not my future. I might write more on my future in the future. It’s time to meditate now. Namaste!