What could bring me closer to God than my experience of becoming a vessel for a new life, nurturing It inside of me and then getting so totally open to birth the new being into his human adventure… Maybe only everyday acts of service to this little one, which are perfect examples of unconditional love put into practice, when I’m so able and willing to let go of my ego and self-centeredness, accept him lovingly as he is in every single moment and constantly give, give and give even more of my self, my time and my every thing …
Is this the time of year in which you tend to think about love and romance and make effort to be more loving towards yourself and others? YES! Valentine’s is coming!
As you are reading this, I am enjoying most beautiful island of Bali with my husband and son. It is easier to feel loving and lovable when in the mood for holiday and surrounded by the beauty of nature. What about everyday life?
Sometimes I feel angry or powerless as things get out of control, or I might feel burdened by many responsibilities, or usual routine makes my life feel dull… Under these circumstances can I still feel IN LOVE with myself, my husband, my son, life itself? I say YES! and practicing yoga is my answer. Right, yoga is my answer for most of my questions (as it really does work!).
When yoga is approached as a practice to deepen awareness, it helps to cultivate the skill for self-compassion and love which is especially useful when your life has become out of alignment. And the practice could be very simple – just feeling your body. Do you know that your body speaks your mind? Your body is a barometer of what’s really happening in your mind and in your life. Breathe deeply and notice how your body feels today. Where do you feel tightness? Any discomfort anywhere? Just bringing awareness to some place in your body stimulates the flow of vital energy to this place. It might intensify your sensations at first but if you keep your calm focus and deep breath, the physical discomfort will gradually disappear and it will release some mental pressure too! This is a practice I’ve been doing more than any other ones since my son was born. The reason is simple – it’s very effective in relaxing the body and mind and I can do it pretty much any time, even while simultaneously taking care of my baby. In this case I choose a smaller area to concentrate on – say, my feet if I’m walking, or my hands if I’m cutting veggies.
Since we talk about it before the Valentine’s day, I suggest you concentrate on feeling your chest and your heart area. Is your heart cold or warm? Open or closed? Soft or hard? Really feel into it. And stay with whatever comes up for you for some time. Keep choosing feeling instead of thinking. Don’t let your mind interfere. Then start exhaling anything that doesn’t serve you anymore. Empty it all out. Create some renewed space in your heart. As the next step, allow your breath get deeper and start inhaling love. Feel warm smooth soft sensations filling in your heart. And feel the well of love which is always in your heart pouring out. You ARE love. That’s what your deeper self is. Just pure love. Once you feel you’ve had enough, finish the practice with sending love, blessings and warm wishes of happiness to your loved ones and all beings. Repeat daily or as often as possible. I hope you will try this meditation for yourself, and will like it as much as I do.
It’s important to learn to nourish our deeper self first, to feel love, to be love. Only then we can share it with others. It is also great to stay open to the love that surrounds us. You might be surprised at how much you are given when your heart and mind stays open. Giving and receiving freely is so much fun! As you learn connecting to your heart and your true real self – LOVE, you will find it much easier to stay connected and loving to others.
There were three major events in my adult life that directed me to the spiritual path and shaped my personality and life. First was yoga. It has slowly and gradually transformed my body – relieving physical pain and ailments, then my mind – removing emotional garbage and revealing the bliss of mental peace under the constant chatter, and eventually, my soul – allowing for deep connection to the purpose of my life and my higher self. I’m, of course, not talking about yoga as only practice of poses but yoga in its deepest meaning of Union with its meditative experiences, the feeling of the energetic body and its currents, and ultimately as a conscious way of life.
The second transformation has started when I fell in love – a true love that has been removing the edges of my ego and opening countless opportunities for self-reflection and self-growth. This real love has been showing like in a mirror my ugliest angles in order to remake them through presence and awareness. Becoming ONE with my husband has been a truly transformational experience as it gives no choice but to allow, embrace, forgive, and savour each moment whether it’s bitter or sweet.
The last and the most recent biggest change was brought to me through the amazing journey of motherhood: calling for a soul, embodying it, giving birth to it and now taking care of the new human being I call “my son”. To know by experience what unconditional love means, one must become a sage or a parent. The latter could be easier but for me it’s connected to a huge responsibility to be the best person I’ve ever could. What can be a better opportunity for self-improvement then knowing that the little person you love the most in your life will copy everything in you including your worst unconscious patterns? Along my teaching and coaching past I’ve met way too many people with pains and problems all rooted in their childhood. Will I exaggerate saying that 99% of all problems are related to our relationship to our parents? The desire to bring up a healthy and wholesome being simply forces a loving parent to become a better person. It’s still a very new adventure for me but my son Veda has been the greatest teacher I’ve ever had. The spiritual potential that parenthood withholds is amazing. And I’m looking forward to seeing what’s coming on the next page of my story.
Life is beautiful! I’m so grateful for it all!
I prayed for more patience tonight. It’s been about a month since my 16 month-old son’s molars cutting through which makes him restless and irritable. Bedtime is now a struggle. He doesn’t want to relax as it makes the teething pain more prominent. And it takes up to two hours for him to fall asleep. (He wakes up many times through the night too).
I noticed how I started getting irritated as my toddler was jumping around the bed tonight. And I allowed myself to feel what I feel. Yes, I’m feeling pissed. And yes, it’s ok to feel pissed. Where do I feel it? My shoulders. Tightness in my shoulders. Aaah…. Feeling it. No judgement. Just being present. Aaaaaaah… Long exhale came naturally. The tension started gradually melting away…
Next thought was: it will pass. Those molars (and all his other teeth!) will come out eventually. Repeated the mantra “it will pass” a few times. Feeling even better now. Beautiful old wisdom never fails to cheer me up:)
Then, I reminded myself that I’m feeling off balance simply because I’m not accepting this moment as it is. Yes, I wish he was sleeping already so I could go and wash those dishes, and check my emails, and do some yoga, and maybe even finally open a new book I ordered from Amazon .. But the truth is my baby needs me here, close to him, and nothing is more important than being of help to him at the moment. Just being right here and now. This moment is perfect as it is. Breathing. Deep abdominal breathing as I’m watching my baby getting more relaxed too.. Counting my breath backwards from 54 backwards to zero. He will fall asleep before I reach zero. He always does, doesn’t he?
And he did!:) yet another bedtime is accomplished successfully. And I went through yet another hour of practicing acceptance and conscious presence. How I love feeling so guided and taken care of! I just ask for it and I’m offered the tools I need and even some inspiration to write it down! Thank You, my Higher self, Angels, Universe, Supreme one…( I actually usually just call It simply – You!:)
Now, to those dishes! Happy conscious parenting to me and all parents out there! Namaste!