Quote

“Woman is the moon. She wanes and waxes. Everything grows because of the moon. Everything ripens because of the sun. And everything is conceived because of the combination of the harmony of those two polarities of male and female, sun and moon.”

~Yogi Bhajan

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Yoga, love and motherhood.

There were three major events in my adult life that directed me to the spiritual path and shaped my personality and life. First was yoga. It has slowly and gradually transformed my body – relieving physical pain and ailments, then my mind – removing emotional garbage and revealing the bliss of mental peace under the constant chatter, and eventually, my soul – allowing for deep connection to the purpose of my life and my higher self. I’m, of course, not talking about yoga as only practice of poses but yoga in its deepest meaning of Union with its meditative experiences, the feeling of the energetic body and its currents, and ultimately as a conscious way of life.
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The second transformation has started when I fell in love – a true love that has been removing the edges of my ego and opening countless opportunities for self-reflection and self-growth. This real love has been showing like in a mirror my ugliest angles in order to remake them through presence and awareness. Becoming ONE with my husband has been a truly transformational experience as it gives no choice but to allow, embrace, forgive, and savour each moment whether it’s bitter or sweet.

The last and the most recent biggest change was brought to me through the amazing journey of motherhood: calling for a soul, embodying it, giving birth to it and now taking care of the new human being I call “my son”. To know by experience what unconditional love means, one must become a sage or a parent. The latter could be easier but for me it’s connected to a huge responsibility to be the best person I’ve ever could. What can be a better opportunity for self-improvement then knowing that the little person you love the most in your life will copy everything in you including your worst unconscious patterns? Along my teaching and coaching past I’ve met way too many people with pains and problems all rooted in their childhood. Will I exaggerate saying that 99% of all problems are related to our relationship to our parents? The desire to bring up a healthy and wholesome being simply forces a loving parent to become a better person. It’s still a very new adventure for me but my son Veda has been the greatest teacher I’ve ever had. The spiritual potential that parenthood withholds is amazing. And I’m looking forward to seeing what’s coming on the next page of my story.
Life is beautiful! I’m so grateful for it all!

Intimate Journeys

Namaste WordPress friends!

I’ve been silent for almost two years now ( oh my god, time flies!). Since my last post there has been so much change in my life! In fact, it’s a totally new life for me! I’m a mother of a one year three month old toddler now! Going through pregnancy, giving birth and taking care of a baby – all these experiences were life-changing and very very transformative for me.

Me and my babyI’m intended to start blogging again, and since my interests have slightly changed, my topics could be a bit different now, though spirituality will always be at the heart of it all. My writing will be more informal too. I’ll just try to share some thoughts and inspirations.

And I’d like to start by sharing an article which is written not by me, but about me. I was recently interviewed by Cosmopolitan, Taiwan, and you can see the photos and a Chinese translation on this link:
http://www.cosmopolitan.com.tw/?p=8756

Here is the original article:

Cosmopolitan, Taiwan
November, 2013

Intimate Journeys
By Cindy H. Wang (王傳瑄)
Travelers from all over the world make their journeys to Taipei, and many of them choose to stay. Each person’s journey becomes a small piece of consciousness in time, and contributes to collective beauty of our city. Many foreigners learn the local language, adapt, and grow as they settle down. Their stories are all different, but their journeys all come from inside out. No matter where is the destination in their minds, as long as they listen to their hearts, their experience will always bring them closer to home.

Zoya lives in Xindian with her family. Every afternoon she takes a small journey with her one-year old boy to the nearby park for some exercise. She has always been agile, and her post-pregnancy slender figure seems even more fit than before. People who come in contact and interact with her are often in awe that, the beautiful and gentle Belarus woman who looks like a doll happens to speak Mandarin like a local person. Besides of being a full-time wife and mom, she is also an advanced yoga instructor who is fluent in Russian, English, and Mandarin, and has taught yoga around the world.

When she was studying in college, if anyone had told her that she would one day live in Taiwan, married to a Taiwanese artist, and teach yoga professionally, she would had laughed like it was a far-fetched fable. But years later, she is not working at a competitive corporation, she no longer smokes, drinks, or eat meat, and looks like a lively teenager. Her story is not in any form a fictitious tale, but a beautiful woman’s journey. Zoya is from Belarus. She majored in International Relations and minored in English and Chinese languages at the Belarus State University. She always excelled in everything she did, and after graduating, she came to Taiwan to study Political Science, and was recruited to work for the ROST (Russian Center for Cooperation with Taiwan) Group, where she worked as the special assistant of the President of the company. But the stress from school and the demanding job aggravated the lower back pain she had since she was a teenager. She began to practice yoga for her health, then found time from her busy schedule to complete yoga instructor certification training in Taipei.

She then left Taiwan in 2004, and moved to Malta. She lived in Malta of 6 years to be with her loved one. She also continued more advanced yoga training in India and Europe, and established Zoya Yoga center in Malta. Her thoughtfulness and patience make her a very popular teacher. She also created extended courses that last for a few months. The students who enroll in her classes all want to participate on long-term basis, as she also prefers to teach long-term course and cultivate comprehensive teacher-student relationships. She would start with basic postures and breathing exercises, then gradually introduce more advanced components physical and emotional components into the class. Analogous of any journey, it takes a beginning to get to anywhere. She would say, “it’s like no one can learn to read a novel before learning the alphabets and words, right?”

Her kindness and gentle guidance is always reflected in her classroom. After travelling from Eastern Europe to Asia, India, and many different places, her teaching has always come the guidance that encourage her students to take on their own personal journeys. She says that, “I create safe space for my student to increase awareness and allow any needed change. I am not the one to take responsibility and decide what’s right for them. But I can share some yoga tools that will show them the way. However, they must choose the direction, not me. At the same time, I keep working on myself, changing myself with the help of others as they reflect my shortcomings.”

Even thou she has left school and the world of international trading, she is still majoring in “relationships.” Her marriage is the proof of the dedicated relationship with her husband. She mentions that when they were dating, her intuition let her know that he was the one person she wanted to be with. The relationship between her son and her husband is also influenced by the sense of closeness that she brings, and the baby is already very close with his father. She also acknowledges that men and women need each other, just like how the energy of the sun and the moon complement each other.

Regarding on how to build strong relationships with others, her principles are honesty, trust, and openness. Everyone needs shield for protection, and some form of disguise. But when the self-discovering process releases personal bondage, any kind mask will become unnecessary, and even words will become excessive. She is fluent in three languages, but she has never been conformed or controlled by any books, philosophies, or knowledge. She believes that only her own direct experience is true. Whenever she comes across some profound realization herself, then the experience in confirmed in something she reads, she always feel validated, but that does not mean the written words are her guidance in life.

She is also perpetually discovering her inner life. Without any religious beliefs, she believes life is eternal. The interior life is always more important than the exterior, because no matter what, everything starts with the self. She says that, “Everything relationship you build is a reflection of yourself, and it’s always better to change yourself than others.” She also recalls that compare to before, she feels her life in the present moment is better, because she always listened to her heart, and never ceased to change.

Being a Leo, Zoya is analogous of a beautiful and graceful cat. But her life is not at all about sleeping under the sun. She and her husband have moved back to Taiwan for 4 years. Her impressive credential has made her the ideal teacher many yoga studios are seeking. Many of her students are also expecting her to open new sessions again. Her teaching will always allow students of any age to uncover and build better relationships as they learn to relax and let of lies and pretenses, and become more in touch with their own bodies. The journey of happiness and self-discovery is a long path. It is also the ultimate relationship with one’s self. It is never too late, and there is never a wrong time to embark.

The Way to a Happy Marriage

Celebration time – it’s been 7 years since I’m married! I am certainly not an expert on a man-woman relationship. After all, it’s only 7 years. But somehow I feel that if we’ve made it through these 7 years of marriage, and came out even more in love and in tune with each other than before we tied the knot, maybe it’s worth sharing a few points with those who are in love and want to keep it up.
I have to admit that for the first years of our life together (which coincided with the first years of our marriage, as we jumped into it barely knowing each other) we constantly argued and fought our way to happiness. Now when I look back, I don’t even understand how we survived through these intense times filled with blame, guilt, anger, grievance and hurt. But look at us now! People often think we are just dating, or have married recently. No one believes we’ve been together for so long. So what’s the secret of keeping it gentle and perky?

Other than loving each other, it’s primarily important to have determination to stay together, no matter what. I am lucky to have an example of my parents who are still together after 40 (!) years of their married life. So from childhood I’ve always thought I’ll be married once and forever. If one enters marriage with the mood of trying it out, «to see if it works», the divorce is guaranteed. Every couple goes through many troubles and hard times, and that’s where determination makes a huge difference.

Not less important than determination is our willingness to change, to constantly work on ourselves. And this starts with learning about yourself through your loved one. That’s why we come together, I believe, a life after life, we use our partner as a mirror that perfectly (and permanently!) reflects all we have to show. And if we might know of our pleasant sides, or love to find more of them at any time, we commonly find it difficult to accept our shortcomings, especially when this awareness comes through someone who is so dear to us. However, the moment we get closed for self-improvement, we jeopardise our marriage. Accept where you are, and do your best to become a better husband/wife.

The rest is just common sense but many of us are far from doing it. (Excuse me writing only about the way you should treat HIM, it works the same way in relation to HER (in case you are a man and reading it))

  1. Try to please you loved one! Don’t you love him? If the answer is yes, the truth is – you can only be happy when he is happy.  So make him happy, it equals to making yourself happy!
  2. Don’t expect him to make you happy. In fact, just don’t expect anything. Period. When there are expectations, there are disappointments. Wouldn’t you rather be surprised with something nice, than expect it and didn’t get it?
  3. Find joy in your family responsibilities. Transform it into your love meditation in action. May everything you do for your partner remind you of your mutual love. Serving him equals making him happy, which equals…? If you didn’t get the answer, look at point 1.
  4. Make him your best friend. Trust is crucial in any relationship, especially in such intimate one as with your life partner. Talk about what matters to you (any thoughts, desires, dreams) and ask your partner advice on all you do. Also listen closely when your partner shares with you his heart, and never betray him by talking about it with others (unless he advised otherwise).
  5. Never complain about your loved one to anyone except those people who can help to see the solution. Judging your loved one behind his back never brought anyone happiness. Instead why not try and see positive things in your relationship? Then talk about those things and make them bloom!
  6. Antoine de Saint-Exupery said: «Loving is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction». Dream your future together, make time (and mood) to talk about things that make you both thrive so you can choose and agree on direction that you are moving towards.

I didn’t realize I’ve got so many points, and I could have continued:) But that’s all for now.

Well, just one more point – if at any time you’ve got a desire to do something opposite to recommended above, please stop and ask yourself:  Is at this moment the amount of ego in me is overpowering the amount of love?

That’s what love is all about. Loving someone as yourself. Or even more! To be able to truly love (yourself or someone else), you must put aside your ego. (How to? that’s a long topic for another post). But dealing with the ego is absolutely essential to finding your true self and your true love which lasts «happily ever after».